The Beginner’s Guide to EFT (a.k.a. Tapping): How to Calm Your Mind Without Pretending Everything’s Fine

Bytheeaglesmith

You know those moments when your brain decides to replay every awkward thing you’ve ever done—right before bed? Or when stress hits so hard your jaw could crack walnuts? These are only a couple examples where EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique, comes in.

EFT (often simply called tapping) is part mindfulness, part acupressure, and part “finally doing something about how I feel instead of ignoring it.” It’s simple, fast, and you don’t need incense or a guru. Just your hands, your honesty, and about two minutes.

Step 1: Identify the Issue

Pick one thing. Not your entire life, not your childhood, just one specific emotion, memory, or physical sensation that’s bugging you right now.

If you’re like me, you might need some starting points to narrow down what you want to work on. Here are some ideas:

  • how I feel like I don’t deserve money if I am not grinding
  • the tension in my chest when I think about that meeting
  • the sadness that keeps sneaking up on me after losing my dog
  • I feel absolutely overwhelmed when I am not in control
  • still working through growing up emotionally abandoned
  • I want to have more energy even though I have a lot going on

The more specific, the better. Assess on a scale of 1 to 10 how intense this feels right now.

Step 2: Create a Setup Phrase

While tapping the side of your hand (that fleshy part you’d use in a karate chop), say something like:

“Even though I have this [insert your problem], I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” or

“Even though I went through this [insert your problem], I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

It might feel weird at first—like talking to yourself while karate chopping the air—but stay with it. This phrase sets the tone for honesty and self-compassion. You can either repeat your statement 3 times, or make up 3 statements. You will tap ~ 25 times here to really lock in the intention.

Step 3: Tap Through the Points

Now you’ll move through a series of acupressure points (sometimes referred to as meridien points), tapping each about 7 times with your fingertips while repeating short versions of your problem statement. Keep it conversational—this isn’t a mantra contest.

Here’s the route:

  • Karate Chop (KC): see step 2 above for instructions
  • Eyebrow (EB): Inner edge of your eyebrows
  • Side of Eye (SE): Bony spot at the outer edge of the eye
  • Under Eye (UE): Just below the pupils on the upper cheekbone
  • Under Nose (UN): Between your nose and upper lip
  • Chin (CH): That little dip under your lower lip
  • Collarbone (CB): Where your collarbone meets your breastbone
  • Under Arm (UA): Side of your body, roughly at bra-strap level (or a hand’s width below the armpit if that’s easier)
  • Under Pectoral (UP): this one is OPTIONAL
  • Top of head (TH): the very top of your head/crown

Repeat your phrase (“this stress about the project,” “this tightness in my chest,” etc.) as you go.

Step 4: Check In

When you’ve gone through all the points, stop, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:
“How intense does that feel now on a scale from 0 to 10?”

If it’s still high, do another round. You can slightly shift your wording—something like,

“Even though I still feel some of this stress, I’m open to releasing it.”

Keep going until the charge eases off or your brain sighs in relief.

Why It Works

EFT helps interrupt the body’s response and rewire the body’s emotional reaction patterns. You’re literally sending calming signals to your nervous system while acknowledging the truth of what you feel. Think of it as emotional decluttering—except you don’t need storage bins.

When to Use It

  • Before a big presentation
  • After a tense conversation
  • When anxiety hits out of nowhere
  • Anytime you catch yourself doom-scrolling instead of breathing

Final Thought

EFT doesn’t erase problems—it helps your system stop fighting them. The more you tap, the faster your body learns to return to calm.

Try it once a day for a week and see what shifts. Your brain might just surprise you by chilling out without a glass of wine or a full-blown meltdown.

Also, if you don’t feel like doing the work and making/thinking about all the statements, feel free to just set an intention on the “karate chop” and proceed through the tapping alone a few times. I do this often as kind of a meditative energetic reset.

I hope you make this a regular practice – whateve that means for you – but follow my socials for “Tapalong” videos or scripts. You can also schedule a 1:1 Tapping session where I do all the work and you just follow along with me.